Often we get stuck in perfectionistic tendencies. We shoot for the ideal and accept nothing short of that standard. While the ideal can be a great thing to pursue, most measurements of success aren’t so all-or-nothing.
The ideal is usually attained via some PROCESS—we never get there all at once. There are progressive, successive, growth steps.
If I’m just learning archery and I’m aiming at the bull’s eye (my ideal), I may miss it but still “succeed”. Just hitting ANYWHERE on the target would be a huge success at that point in my development.
Here’s a MAJOR problem: many people never pick up their bow because they’re afraid they won’t hit the bull’s eye.
Guess what?? You WON’T hit the bull’s eye—not at first. Why would you? You’re LEARNING. And if you did, it would be more luck than skill.
The new salesman never makes that call because he might get rejected. So he ends up getting nothing.
The amateur guitarist doesn’t sing at the open mic because she’s not perfect yet—she hasn’t reached “Guitar Hero” status yet. So she misses out—no experience of stretching herself, going beyond her limits, spreading her wings, and learning something valuable along the way by getting on stage.
The reality is that the salesman WILL get rejected. The amateur guitarist WILL hit some clunker notes and sing off-key. So what?? It’s called learning!
Mastery is a worthy pursuit, indeed. But we’ll NEVER get to mastery in our area of pursuit if we too rigidly define success and failure, and have a “bull’s eye only” mentality.
Yes, keep your eye on the ideal, whatever that may be. Make that ideal your North Star. And then begin moving towards it, wherever you are. BUT . . . allow for learning and growth to take place over a period of time!
It’s a PROCESS—something I say a lot.
Just stay on the path. Forget “perfect”. Keep moving and keep learning. And one year from today, take a look at how far you will have traveled towards mastery.
And be pleased with your progress, even if it ain’t yet perfect!
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Hi Janna! Welcome to the blog. I’m glad to have you here, and glad you like what you’re reading. And I appreciate you commenting! I look forward to seeing you back here again.
Hi Sean,
I am new to your site.
Your post reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Earl Nightingale: “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” Success in not an end product, the house, the bank balance, the car, the degree, etc. It is a journey, a learning journey like you said. Each day if we can make even a tinny progress towards our goals, it is a successful day already. I live by that principle now. For example, in my blogging, if I make one more comment or complete another post, it is a step towards success in my area. The tiny triumphs are sure great morale booster. To your success too.
Cheers
Hi Jimmy–welcome to my blog. Nice to have you here, and thank you for your great contribution. You have a powerful practice of striving to make a little progress daily. I like that. And like you said, if we do that, we can consider ourselves successful at the end of each day. That certainly is a morale booster. Seeing how far we are from the endpoint of a huge goal can be discouraging if we’re not careful, so if we do what you’re suggesting, we will stay enthusiastic and energized.
And thanks for your quote on success. We have something in common–that’s the definition for success I use as well! I guess great minds think alike
This is a wonderful reminder, and synchronistically speaks to me. The power of pushing through the fears is so great. Even in baby steps, the fact that efforts were made holds great value. The idea of failure as a negative intrigues me. Aren’t we supposed to fail as we try something new? Thanks for this post, Sean. Best wishes with the archery!
Thanks Antonia for your great contribution! I have to chuckle at “baby steps”–it reminds me of the movie What About Bob with Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss. But baby steps–yes, so true, so true. Efforts made DOES hold such great value–thanks for highlighting that.
And yes, we ARE supposed to fail as we try something new. But as my title states, it’s called LEARNING, not failing!
Somewhere probably in childhood we learned the all or nothing model. Be perfect or don’t try at all approach.
These days I am just thrilled with the prospect of experiencing something new without worrying about specific results.
Great point Justin. Yes, I think you’re right. Our enduring dysfunctions seem to come from childhood in one way or another. Though I do think there are some who have an anxious temperament from birth. Still, how that natural temperament is handled in childhood can amp it up or calm it down.
Hey Justin, I really like what you said–that you’re thrilled about experiencing something new without worrying about specific results. That is actually profound. I’m sure that frees you up to “just be”. Often that’s when we get our best “results”, right?