Men's Group
Men of Fire
A Christ-Centered Men’s Group
Welcome. I give an open invitation to join my men’s group.
As a Christ-follower, part of my mission is encouraging and challenging other men of faith to build Christlike:
- strength
- character
- manhood
If you’re not yet a Christ-follower, but curious, open, and respectful, you’re welcome to join.
TL;DR It’s in the DNA of every man to live a strong, purposeful life. An important part of this includes growing “manly excellence,” which is developed by structured practice of the right elements.
As men who follow Christ, our ultimate manly excellence is expressed by our progressive growth into Christlikeness.
Much of this growth involves developing classical character strengths.
Today’s current culture has much to say about men–much of it is wrong, and often harmful. The FACT of the matter is that the world desperately needs strong men of character to do what only THEY can do.
This group is for you if you:
- desire a biblical perspective of manhood
- feel stuck
- value personal growth and excellence
- want to be a strong man in all the GOOD ways
- desire to stay rooted in healthy masculinity
- hunger to live a fully engaged life
- want to stoke your vibrancy and vitality
- are willing to take action to move forward
- need clarity on your life direction
- need to reconnect with a compelling vision
- want your strengths to play a bigger part in your life
- sense there are important unlived parts inside you
- desire to bust out of your status quo life
- are open to challenging your perspective
Do You Want to Be a BETTER Man?
The WHAT:
- Growing in Christlikeness
- Living in the fullness of the Spirit
- Practicing The 12 Pillars of Manhood
- Building foundational character strengths
- Gaining clarity on our honorable purpose as men
- Developing goals and game plans to live all this out
The WHY:
- You were made for a vital purpose
- You play a crucial role in society
- The world desperately NEEDS truly strong men
- Men need to TRAIN and DEVELOP qualities, skills, and mindsets that are no longer widely taught
- Apart from Christ and His Spirit, you’re spiritually impotent (John 15:1-5) and ill-equipped to truly overcome
The HOW:
- Join our community
- Hold yourself accountable for your personal growth
- Take action and intentionally practice classical virtues
- Get encouragement and challenge along the way
- Follow proven ways to grow and build REAL strength
- Weekly and monthly challenges
- Access to proven protocols, strategies, and tactics
- Develop deep alignment with your core values, core strengths, mission, vision, and goals
- Learn what the Bible has to say about manhood, Christlikeness, and TRUE spiritual power
Character Is BUILT By Training, Discipline, and Practice
It’s in the DNA of every man to live a strong, purposeful life.
What this specifically means is different for each man.
One thing it definitely DOES mean for every man is THIS:
The strength and quality of his CHARACTER has the power to impact his world more than anything else.
As a husband, a father, a professional, a citizen, a neighbor, a churchman, a leader, a servant.
But here’s the crucial truth: NONE of us have arrived! We ALL have parts of our character that need attention, but we can GROW our character, or what the old Greek philosophers called, our “VIRTUE.”
It takes hard work, struggling with our laziness and our limits, like building our physical muscle and strength takes hard work.
The Bible tells us: “Rather train yourself in godliness. For while physical training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way.” 1 Timothy 4:7-8
TRAIN! For those of us who regularly train physically, we know it takes consistent effort to see progress.
We build our character strengths–our “virtuous excellence”–by training and practice.
Of course, if you’re a Christ-follower and know your Bible, then you know we’re completely inadequate to build Christlikeness in our own strength.
We need HIS enablement to do this. AND, we are also responsible to do OUR part–putting in the reps of this character “strength-building.”
For many men, they don’t want to put in the reps to build this inner strength. And as a result, they are lesser men, and they leave their corner of the universe to OTHER men to impact, for good or bad.
What is Virtue?
What is “virtue?” There are various definitions. One place I like to start is with the ancient Greeks, who didn’t think of virtue as moral goodness, the way we commonly think of it today.
Rather, they thought of it more as “EXCELLENCE”, which is what it’s literal translation is. Specifically, to live rationally and honorably, in alignment with their potential.
For ancient Greeks, virtue was not following a set of rules as much as it was developing an internal state of character strength, leading to human flourishing and a life well-lived.
The 4 Cardinal Virtues have been:
- prudence (wisdom)
- temperance (self-control)
- justice (fairness, duty, harmony)
- fortitude (courage)
Aristotle had much to say about virtue. Character traits and psychological dispositions were the directions he was pointing us in.
Of course, other cultures may have their own traditional list of virtues, eg, in the 1600s Samurai warriors developed their own moral code, known as “Bushido”, or “the way of the warrior”, and the samurai spirit and virtues are still present today in the social and economic organization of Japan.
The Bible talks MUCH about the quest for character, and refers to many qualities, such as:
- faith
- virtue
- knowledge
- self-control
- perseverance
- kindness
- love
- patience
- faithfulness
- steadfastness
- peace
- goodness
- endurance
- boldness
- servanthood
I’d imagine every society has its virtues, values, and character strengths as a way to not only guide personal development, but also societal development.
And, within every society, there are sub-groups that may have a more specific code for their community. Think military, religious institutions, and gangs.
This Current Age
In this current age, men face various EXTERNAL challenges, as the culture, in it’s efforts to address “toxic masculinity,” has often gone to the extreme of trying to ERASE all forms of masculinity altogether.
While some forms and expressions of masculinity ARE toxic, the answer is NOT to obliterate all healthy forms of masculinity and male strength.
Many of the great things built into every prosperous society has been the direct result of male strength and a healthy masculine spirit.
For those of us familiar with Scripture, we understand that there is a much larger battle occurring here, as “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places,” Ephesians 6:12.
But at a human level, much is going on, eg, activist “educators” are starting young, attempting to re-train boys out of healthy boyhood and into a neutered alternative. Shame on them.
This is very bad for society, though will take some time to see the full negative impact. Hopefully, for society’s sake, it never gets to that point.
But it’s left many men confused about who they are as men, unclear on their “honorable calling” in this world, and afraid to boldly embrace a bigger vision for themselves, often leading them to live small, impotent lives, to one degree or another.
In essence, so many men, especially YOUNG men, are lost. SO lost.
Which then leads men to experience INTERNAL challenges, such as:
- problems with their energy
- decreased motivation
- confusion about their life direction
- boredom
- declining confidence in their abilities
- questions about their purpose, their “WHY”
- struggles with change and transition
- increased feelings of irrelevance
- and SO MUCH ANXIETY
And all of THESE have the potential to spinoff into bigger problems all their own:
- marital tension and conflict
- overall malaise
- chronic stress
- burnout
- decreased performance (work and home)
- health issues
- increased anger
- problem drinking and substance use
- identity issues
- isolation
- aggression
- and, of course d-e-p-r-e-s-s-i-o-n
These stuck-points are often golden opportunities for transitioning into fresh “life chapters” and new beginnings, OR, remaining in the same life chapter, but from a more empowered, clarified, and focused position.
At the very least, ALL stuck-points are growth opportunities.
So many men are living far BELOW what they were created for, and they know it. They might not be able to put words to it, but they definitely FEEL it. It’s heartbreaking.
Yet, it’s also encouraging, because feeling the pain is often the motivator that leads a man on a path to find a solution…
"Red Pill" is Inadequate
We’ve seen various men’s movements emerge to counter the craziness of the efforts seeking to radically reshape who men are to be.
These men’s movements come and go, or morph and evolve into newer strategies based on updated philosophies.
Some are better than others.
Many of the “influencers” speaking to men are trying to be radical themselves, but I chuckle to myself when I see how many are simply rehashing broken philosophies thousands of years old, that take you down a road to nowhere.
As King Solomon tells, “There’s nothing new under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 1:9).
Here’s the truth: most men’s groups and influencers are thinking TOO SMALL and aiming TOO LOW.
Of course, there have been noble and worthy attempts to get us back on track, and give younger men a better vision of what a man is, and older men a jump start to stay grounded in what’s going to be in better alignment with who they’ve been created to be.
These groups and programs I love.
However, there is also an element of various men’s movements that has been an over-correction of the over-correction, leading men into things and lifestyles that actually diminish and weaken them.
Ironic, huh? Men pushing against radical culture, trying to reconnect with their authentic, inborn strength, and they become weaker.
In the end, this has led men further away from the truth, chasing things that only lead them to feel:
- empty
- lonely
- anxious
- confused
- depressed
There is only one TRUE power source. Men seeking true empowerment will never find it where and how they’re looking.
THIS I guarantee you, every time.
- fortune
- fame
- power
- pleasure
They don’t last, and the don’t satisfy for long.
In fact, then don’t deeply satisfy AT ALL.
In this men’s group, we’re pursuing and building what lasts for eternity.
And what deeply satisfies–what your soul, as a man, truly craves and desires.
And, what the world desperately needs. Now, more than ever.
Why Men of "FIRE?"
If you’re familiar with the Bible, Christian theology, and the experience of the Spirit, you know where I’m going.
The Spirit of God sets us ABLAZE in the fire of His:
- POWER
- PURITY
- PURPOSE
- PASSION
THAT’S the fire.
What's This Membership?
This is a month-to-month membership.
Whenever you’re ready to stop, you simply do so before your next month’s payment automatically renews (there are juicy benefits, however, for those who stick around).
Here’s what you’ll get each month:
- No long-term contracts to worry about. You pay monthly, stay as long as you like, and cancel whenever you want (you will have to finish out the current month you paid for)
- Access to 2 group calls via Zoom every month guaranteed. No obligation to come to every one–that’s up to you.
- My PDFs, mindmaps, and mental models of my best strategies and protocols
- Special members-only webinars and “deep dives” on high-performance strategies (Diamond Level members)
- Members-only Bible studies that both encourage and challenge men to grow in Christ
- Opportunities for occasional 1:1 “laser coaching” sessions with me (Diamond Level members)
- Private community forums to interact with other members about your goals, game plans, and wins.
Who Am I?
My name is Sean Patrick Cox, from the great city of Chicago. For the last 4 decades I’ve been enjoying the privilege of partnering up with people to assist them in living lives of deep purpose, strong passion, and high performance.
This hasn’t simply been a “hobby”, side gig, or some mid-career transition. This has always been THE sole focus in my professional life, though it’s also played a huge part in my personal life as well, all the way back to my teen age years.
High performance, personal growth, the healing path, and “decoding greatness” are topics that consume me and fill my brain, and are the things I constantly read about, ponder, and consult with clients on everyday.
I don’t pretend to know everything, but I have much experience with a wide diversity of clientele, who I’ve been very honored to work with and learn from.
I’m also a licensed professional counselor. However, my work in this group is as a coach, doing coaching, and not as a therapist/counselor. These are different activites with a different focus. My work here is not a substitute for mental health counseling.
I’ve learned a few things along the way, and testing and re-testing different frameworks and protocols, and developing my own best practices and methodology that you can’t figure out simply by reading a book or two – it takes field testing, practice, repetition, experience, and a lot of work over many years.
Some of my personal interests are biblical theology, traditional karate and its modern application, physical training, reading, and good conversation…and going for a long walk.
FAQs
As of today, there is no financial cost. Though if you do sign up, I’d like you to be an active participants (ie, show up). So there is THAT cost.
Absolutely.
Absolutely not. At most, this is coaching, which is a different service and activity than counseling or therapy. So I advise you to not use this group to resolve mental health issues that would be better discussed with a therapist. This is not therapy.
There are two meetings per month. At some point, I may do additional calls for different time zones/time of day. That will be explored as needed.
Video, eg, Zoom or Google Meet. Both can be used by desktop, laptop, tablet, or phone.
They are on my end! But every group member is also responsible to protect the confidentiality of their fellow members–this is part of the membership agreement. Of course, I am obligated to say that, as a licensed counselor, even though this isn’t counseling, I still need to break confidentiality if someone is an actual risk of physical harm to themselves or others, or if vulnerable populations are being harmed.
You’re not required. Obviously these meetings have much better energy the more that people contribute–that’s the whole point of a group! But there’s no pressure to talk. We’ll work with you. I know you have value to add, though!
As with many things, this group is a work in progress. As of right now, we discuss one of the 12 Pillars of Manhood, and then everyone is encouraged to consider how to concretely and specifically apply it to their lives–even setting an achievable goal for the month pertaining to this Pillar. We also discuss character strengths every group, including personal application as well.
Sure, courage is one on our list. If we wanted to develop courage, we would first need to properly understand it, including examples from life, literature, movies, etc, and we would also need to PRACTICE it in a structured way. Classically, the 4 Cardinal Virtues have been prudence, temperance, justice, and fortitude. There are many other virtues we study and practice together.
There are 12 Pillars of Strength I’ve identified that men need to personally develop in order to be men of excellence, empowered to move around in this world living in alignment with their core values, living a meaningful life, and having a positive impact on the world around them. These go beyond the virtues that we discuss and practice.
For now, it’s a hard stop at 55 minutes, though if the discussion naturally ends sooner, we don’t stretch it out. Also, this group will evolve over time, so I’m always open to making changes that make sense. Perhaps one day the meetings will need to be longer. I value efficiency, though.
That’s up to you. But obviously you get out what you put in.
We begin with a quick check-in, including a report on your “wins” from the week. Then I’ll present some valuable information on the topic, followed by an open forum discussion, always ending with practical life application that every participant considers, stating their goal(s) until the next meeting. This process is subject to change, but it’s a general map of a meeting.
Fieldwork and forums. Fieldwork is practical application of any of the topics discussed that month, or from previous months for things you’re still working on. Forums are discussion-based chats. This is were you can report on progress, ask questions, give an attaboy, or continue the discussion from one of the meetings.
Yes! I haven’t figured it out yet. I’m thinking that if you attend so many consecutive groups, that will give you access to 1:1 coaching with me, free next-level webinars, special resources, etc. Stay tuned!
No, as of now you’re very welcome to join! My focus for this website and 1:1 coaching is men who are in the 2nd half of life (roughly age 40 and above). However, as of today, this group is open to ALL adult men. One day that may change.