Fear. The real “F” word. It has the power to knock us down and keep us down. But only if we allow it to.
That’s right. We have power over our fear. Potentially. You have power over your fear. You may not be living that way right now, but you can.
Fear is simple yet complex. I’m in the process of writing an e-book on fear, and will get into some of the important complexities there. For today, let’s keep it simple.
Here’s one simple way to think about much of the fear we experience. Consider the acronym FEAR.
F—false
E—evidence
A—appearing
R—real
That’s it. Fear=False Evidence Appearing Real.
Let’s take a look at this.
False Evidence. Put Evidence in quotes—“Evidence”. It may look like evidence, but it’s fake, fraudulent. It can’t support reality. It has no substance. It’s all froth. All bark and no bite. It may be dressed up in a slick suit and expensive haircut with a silver-tongued sales pitch, but there’s nothing to it. Just empty words with nothing to back it up.
Fear is often a toothless, clawless tiger.
Remember the Wizard of Oz? The great wizard, awesome in power, was really a only little man behind a curtain.
How many of your magnificent fears are really only little men behind curtains?
Appearing Real. That tiger sure looks ferocious. That wizard sure looks powerful. That other team sure looks better than us.
Looks can be deceiving.
Words can be deceiving, also. We can listen too much to the wrong voices and too little to the right voices. People can project their own fears onto us, and we can drink it all in without any filters.
“I heard . . .” Two very dangerous words. “I heard the economy is going to crash.” “I heard the boss is firing the bottom two performers.” “I heard they have a 300 lb. running back who can run a 4.0 40.”
We hear a lot of things, especially if we’re surrounded by the wrong people.
So what do we do? Apply another acronym—COTE.
C—check
O—out
T—the
E—evidence
Don’t ASSUME “evidence” is real. Do the FACTS support it? Does REALITY support it? This is where we MUST become scientists and logicians.
When facing your fears, you must take on a commitment to reality and rationality.
Friend: “The economy is going to crash.”
You: “Interesting. Tell me what facts you base your statement on.”
We have to do this with the conversations we have with ourselves, in our own heads, as well:
Me1: “I just know I’m going to get fired.”
Me2: “Really. What’s my evidence for this belief?”
Me1: “Well the boss gave me that look.”
Me2: “Is this enough evidence to support my belief?”
Me1: “Well . . .”
In fact, here’s one simple, little technique you can use when you’re stuck in F.E.A.R. Ask yourself,
”Is this ‘evidence’ sufficient to support this belief?—Would it stand up in a court of law? Would a jury of my peers consider this sufficient evidence?”
Look your fear straight in the eye and stare it down! Don’t blink. If the evidence IS real, then deal with it calmly and thoughtfully, rather than anxiously and reactively.
But if it’s not real, let it go and keep moving forward!
Don’t allow fear to detour you from your most valued goals and from living your vision. Stay on the path. Stay focused. And run through the fear.
See you at the finish line.
Dead pent content material, regards for information. “Life is God’s novel. Let him write it.” by Isaac Bashevis Singer.
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Hi Vicente. I’m glad you like the blog. I always welcome your comments. We all gotta help each other out and contribute, so I always like hearing what people have to say. Keep staring down your fear!
Hey Sean. Yes it’s so true that we tend to accept everything that we hear from other people and ourselves (our inner-thoughts) as the absolute truth. This comes about through practice until it becomes an automatic response… a habit.
Luckily for us we can turn that around by practising a new response… as you say, keep questioning yourself so you can see how irrational you’re being. It will require a lot of work and practice over time, but in the end it will be worth it.
Good to see you here again Andrew. I like what you pointed out–that our automatic response of accepting our own irrational thoughts (and those of others) is a result of much practice–a “bad habit”, right?!
And yes, thankfully we CAN break this dysfunctional thinking pattern by practice, as you say. There IS hope!